oh. dear. lord.

" Anna Nicole Smith: 'Yes, I am pregnant'"

at least the kid will be... rich?

oh.

""Let me stop all the rumors. Yes, I am pregnant. I'm happy, I'm very very happy about it. Everything's goin' really, really good and I'll be checking in and out periodically on the Web and I'll let you see me as I'm growing," the 38-year-old former reality TV star and Playboy playmate says.

Smith, who is floating on an inflatable raft in a swimming pool as a small white dog barks in the background, did not provide any details."

tomorrow I get rid of the pile of garbage bags that is my living room. hopefully the ex-roommate will pick them up as we throw them out. It's not her fault that she is crazy.

I took pictures of liv today.



going to minnesota tomorrow night for the likely graduation of my brother. I'll be back later, tah.

the fever starts.

bike season is upon us.

There aren't many competitive sports that I follow. I don't know athlete's names or stats... except for team discovery. I love the tour de france. love. complex, beautiful, exciting. the DVR is now going to be set for the bike races.

check out race2replace. it is a free web show (and podcast on iTunes) about team discovery and its structure after lance.

July means two things to me- the Fourth and the Tour.

so excited.

Proof

The DMV is evil. We all know that. I am trying to figure out how to get a motorcycle license, it's a unbearable. Let me show you what the DMV says about drinking...

"Without taking into account any of the other factors, the formula below illustrates the LEAST amount of drinks remaining in the bloodstream:

A person drinking:

• 7 drinks in 3 hours would have at least 4 drinks remaining in their system.
• 4 drinks in 2 hours would have at least 4 drinks remaining in their system."

WHAT? what "formula" is that? 7-3=4... good, that makes sense, but 4-2=4? maybe they will have a graphic with the formula, that should help.

obviously.

so, using that formula I can drink 10 drinks = 0 hours ago = and have 0 drinks in my body. I am good to drive.

Thanks DMV!

"we call it life"

good work exxon!

science fiction... I mean... fact.

I don't understand these three things I read today - science stuff that would make for great tv episodes... here we go...

1)"A musical mystery today surrounded Britain's highest mountain after a piano was discovered near its summit.

Volunteers clearing stones from the 4,418ft peak were astonished when they discovered the musical instrument on Ben Nevis. An appeal has now been launched to find out how and why the piano came to be within 200 metres of the top of the mountain."

Awesome. So weird.

2)"Boyd recently showed how he can slow down a pulse of light to slower than an airplane, or speed it up faster than its breakneck pace, using exotic techniques and materials. But he's now taken what was once just a mathematical oddity—negative speed—and shown it working in the real world."

I don't know what that means, or how it works, read the article and get back to me.

3) this "boyd" that they were talking about above...

he looks like this -

Amazing. He's not even joking with those glasses. The height of nerd fashion.

science fact.

I don't want to hug the tarbaby...

ok, the white house briefings - they either make me mad or... confused - but Tony Snow's first briefing, very entertaining. It starts with him walking in to no response, he said " I feel so loved." welcome, tony, welcome. Don't worry, I know you won't cry. You'll just get close. oh, and don't use the term "tarbaby" in a press conference.

then there is the "new" video of a white streak hitting the pentagon to quell the "conspiracy theorists". Watch, listen, and read as CNN tries to prove that it was a jumbo jet that hit the pentagon. I still see no wreckage.

I really hate being "that crazy guy". I'll try and not let these questions bother me for a while. I'll let it go. let it go. let it go. I'll just let Tony entertain and try and dance the McClellan dance.

Surprise

I'm in Minnesota. I came to "surprise" my brother. He is having "trouble" at school. Hopefully we are fixing the problems. Though I have been busy, I found time to break one of my lenses while shooting my brother's pre-prom... through my anger it was still a very entertaining event.

see more photos (with smiling and the like) here.

Please help

I need help editing down my photos.



please go here and tell me which you like or don't - thank you

So Angry, So Happy.

Angry - well, it is a family problem, a black sheep - if you will... updates after I talk to said sheep.

Happy - TV execs are finally getting it. More TV shows are on iTunes, which is bad for my wallet and social life, but good for my entertainment.

24 - I still have to catch up, I started with season 2, they are on reruns on A&E. Only season 5 is on iTunes

Firefly - I missed a few episodes of this great show.

Buffy - I'm not going to buy any because I already went through my phase, I was lonely.

Lost - A given... addiction.

Battlestar Galactica - see above.

Alias - I have only seen season 1... iTunes only has 4 and 5... I have to wait.

Saved by the Bell - I haven't purchased any... yet.

Then there are the tv snacks like monk, the laws and orders, the office, and south park.

Time for laundry and lost. ooooh - go here lost fans. Hanso Foundation slick site.

What I believe

I don't like to make too many political statements on my blog. I may run for office some day and don't want statements I may have made at 25 to come and bite me in the butt.

I don't believe in conspiracy theories. There are too many people to keep a secret.

that said... I believe our president and his staff have lied to us.

I would like you to watch "loose change". You can watch it for free on Google Video. It is 1 hour 21 minutes long.



I do not believe a plane hit the pentagon on September 11th, 2001.



if you don't have time to watch the video right now, then check out this site to read about some of the evidence.

I don't like being lied to.

remote blogging

in portland, OR at my sister's gradumacation. either these kids don't know how to party, or more likely, we partied too hard.

things.

1. youtube took off my colbert videos - I am going to try to sneak them on this time.

2. Purple Rain and I had our first fall. (jonah "broke" her in). . . I was driving on the right in between the curb and cars and a cab door Right in front of me. I slam on the breaks, cuss, and slowly hit the door then the ground. I was going to be angry and the idiot who didn't look out of their door in the cab when I look up and see two scared kids. I tell them I'm alright and ask them if they are ok, they say yes. I look over myself to make sure nothing happened - nothing did, just a damp butt from the gutter. As I am getting up the kid says, "excuse me, can you get out of my way, we have to get out." I was aghast. I said, "what?" and he repeated the same phrase...

I got out of the brat's way. the mother then says, "It's not their fault... the door was open"... I don't even know what that means, I wasn't even mad - it happens... but "the door was open"... what? Just ask me if I'm alright and apoligize for your kids. I'm not going to sue you - just be a human.

Then she dragged her kids away from the scene as the hot dog vender and cabbie asked if I was alright.

News sites.

One of my two favorite news reports used my photo today. Rocketboom. I have a tiny crush on ms. amanda congdon and I have only been watching for about a week. The other show... or "the show" that I watch is ala ze frank. I have a tiny crush on mr. ze frank and I don't even like boys.

so, there you go, that should keep you busy for a few days.

Improv Everywhere Best Buy Blue Shirts

yes, Improv Everywhere has struck again (a lot of blog posts today, huh?) and I thought I should make my internet presence known. I took photos like this -


and this at best buy.


and they are up at the Improv Everywhere site with beautiful video.

my shots are featured on Gizmodo and Consumerist.

Full photoset
highlights photoset

Steven Colbert at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

I don't know how long the video will be public, but view - they are hillarious.

Suggested by Mike, who found the transcript (which I will post in full in the comments) on this site (you can see the video there as well, just click on the ad)

Part 1


Part 2


Skit

evictor.

I am in the process of putting all of my roommate's things in bags. It will take all day.

here is a slice of what I have to do.



Here is MY flask that I found buried in her bag.



Does anyone want to buy art supplies? They are for sale. Cheap!

Tomorrow shall suck.

Monday, may 1st. I'm not talking about the impending boycott... but, rather, the cleaning out of my soon to be ex-roommate's room.

We are evicting her. Tomorrow morning the locks get changed, things we can't sell will go out onto the street, and we will pawn or sell everything else to pay for her three months in unpaid rent. Her place is a mess. I am not excited about this at all - the three foot pile of clothing, the art supplies and breakable things. I'm a nice guy - I don't want to break, sell, or hold her things for ransom... but she is a child.

a sad child.

what makes it worse - is that she is a lying, scared child. So, she has hidden for weeks and has continued to say that she will pay us tomorrow (for four months). I have to buy plastic gloves and lots of garbage bags. I will not be a happy camper...

... maybe slightly entertained by not having any remorse for digging through someone's personal things ...

but I will be very angry and I will use cuss words.

spam

I have very good spam blockers, I get, maybe, one a day. Today I read one. I share it with you;

heard from Alex and told him not to tell me where you were; one cannot
reveal what one does not know. Still, if I were you, Id go to another
place, at least for the night. You may have been spotted at the airport.
What about you?
I intend to be a canard.
A duck?

I love it. I intend to be canard. A duck?

not much for celeb gossip...

but...

My roommate and I have discussed lost actress Michelle Rodriguez a couple times. He never feels any sympathy for any of the characters she plays. I think that is just part of the characters that she plays.

Now I think her unsympathetic demeanor is part of who she is, a whiny, out of touch Tress. (I call all annoying actors, male or female a "tress" or "tresses" - short for actress.) Anyone who would rather choose jail time over community service - no matter who you are - does not gain any of my respect.

I'm not a bitch, I just play one on TV.

I feel like I haven't done my homework...

you know, when you have so much to do and it just piles up? yeah, I feel blog like that.

anyway I am going to stall some more, but I will share one of the most odd things I found in my travels... it was in the toy section of a market in tuscany.

Prague

worth the hype.

or it could be that it is saturday night, who knows?

Slovenia

is great.

internet use

is limited.

me likey.

I love traveling. We are in florence today and for the next two. I've had a lot of wine and taken a ton of photos. I don't have enough energy to upload them or to blog when I get in, sorry.

You can see our steps to making pasta here.

I can also share two minutes of fun filming. This was me driving with my brother at the camera at night. It didn't end well.



in the end it looked a bit like this:

I'm doing very well, thanks.