True - my roommate is all wicked famous, even going to be on TV, but rolling stone magazine used one of my pictures.
My photography has been featured in Rolling Stone magazine.
No one will ever know it, they didn't credit me - even though the photo is has a copyright which asks for atribution... ah well, I can still make it sound cool.
See the article here.
See the original picture here.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Newsworthy
These are a few of my favorite "skipped over" stories of the last couple weeks.
"All I want are sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads - is that too much to ask?" It seems that there are military trained killer dolphins roaming free. Yes, really, the military has trained dolphins, "in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels... If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'" *link ala brian
---
"SCIENTISTS at Edinburgh University have developed a way of moving an object without touching it, in breakthrough research which could be as revolutionary as the discovery of electricity."
---
THE US military wants to buy large quantities of anthrax, in a controversial move that is likely to raise questions over its commitment to treaties designed to limit the spread of biological weapons.
---
And finally... one article I have only found to confirm here.
"Bush plea for cash to rebuild Iraq raises $600
An extraordinary appeal to Americans from the Bush administration for money to help pay for the reconstruction of Iraq has raised only $600, The Observer has learnt. Yet since the appeal was launched earlier this month, donations to rebuild New Orleans have attracted hundreds of millions of dollars.
"All I want are sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads - is that too much to ask?" It seems that there are military trained killer dolphins roaming free. Yes, really, the military has trained dolphins, "in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels... If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'" *link ala brian
---
"SCIENTISTS at Edinburgh University have developed a way of moving an object without touching it, in breakthrough research which could be as revolutionary as the discovery of electricity."
---
THE US military wants to buy large quantities of anthrax, in a controversial move that is likely to raise questions over its commitment to treaties designed to limit the spread of biological weapons.
---
And finally... one article I have only found to confirm here.
"Bush plea for cash to rebuild Iraq raises $600
An extraordinary appeal to Americans from the Bush administration for money to help pay for the reconstruction of Iraq has raised only $600, The Observer has learnt. Yet since the appeal was launched earlier this month, donations to rebuild New Orleans have attracted hundreds of millions of dollars.
The public's reluctance to contribute much more than the cost of two iPods to the administration's attempt to offer citizens 'a further stake in building a free and prosperous Iraq' has been seized on by critics as evidence of growing ambivalence over that country.
This coincides with concern over the increasing cost of the war. More than $30 billion has been appropriated for the reconstruction. Initially, America's overseas aid agency, USaid, expected it to cost taxpayers no more than $1.7bn, but it is now asking the public if they want to contribute even more.
It is understood to be the first time that a US government has made an appeal to taxpayers for foreign aid money. Contributors have no way of knowing who will receive their donations or even where they may go, after officials said details had be kept secret for security reasons."
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Learning curve...
... is not the only thing that is steep.
I am learning to skateboard. I never did it as a kid because I wasn't all that good and I lived on a dirt road - it wasn't easy to find a road to skate on. Now I'm in a paved city using long boards which are easy and fun (I am using "easy" very liberally here).
When I was teaching kids how to ski the very first thing we would teach is how to stop. I haven't learned to stop on the skateboard yet... I don't even know if there is a good way.
So, I was on my way home the other day and I was doing pretty well on the board. Then I started going fast. Wow. I went fast. It was great... until I noticed that at the bottom of the hill there was a four lane boulevard... the cars were crossing the boulevard at quite speedarifically. I thought to myself, "Myself, you had better try and stop this board". I tried. I failed... in my failing I tumbled in a nice somersault on the asphalt.
I immediately stood up to watch the skateboard continue down the hill towards the four lanes of speeding traffic. It made it through the first two lanes and then hit the divider and slowed. It crossed the next two lanes and went up the ramp onto the sidewalk. Then it slid back down the sidewalk back onto the road. A car swerved. It came to a near stop in the first lane and drifted to the curb.
It survived. I survived. I have a sprained wrist and a banged up knee. I will survive... and probably will buy a skateboard soon.
and wrist guards. Definitely wrist guards.
I am learning to skateboard. I never did it as a kid because I wasn't all that good and I lived on a dirt road - it wasn't easy to find a road to skate on. Now I'm in a paved city using long boards which are easy and fun (I am using "easy" very liberally here).
When I was teaching kids how to ski the very first thing we would teach is how to stop. I haven't learned to stop on the skateboard yet... I don't even know if there is a good way.
So, I was on my way home the other day and I was doing pretty well on the board. Then I started going fast. Wow. I went fast. It was great... until I noticed that at the bottom of the hill there was a four lane boulevard... the cars were crossing the boulevard at quite speedarifically. I thought to myself, "Myself, you had better try and stop this board". I tried. I failed... in my failing I tumbled in a nice somersault on the asphalt.
I immediately stood up to watch the skateboard continue down the hill towards the four lanes of speeding traffic. It made it through the first two lanes and then hit the divider and slowed. It crossed the next two lanes and went up the ramp onto the sidewalk. Then it slid back down the sidewalk back onto the road. A car swerved. It came to a near stop in the first lane and drifted to the curb.
It survived. I survived. I have a sprained wrist and a banged up knee. I will survive... and probably will buy a skateboard soon.
and wrist guards. Definitely wrist guards.
Friday, September 23, 2005
"Not much happening in the news..."
That is what my sister said when my mother showed her the cover of our local paper. It had both of my parents on the front page... the date on the paper was September 11, 2001.
My favorite paper has a more entertaining bit of news. The cover has my hero roommate on the cover. That's pretty cool.
The title of the article is "Aquabatic Rescue", and it has a very silly interior photo of him, "looking hero tough" into the camera. Jonah has saved lives before, but this is the first time it has been in the paper. Oh, and he will accept donations for a destroyed phone (he forgot it was in his pocket when he jumped in) and telephone numbers to rebuild his phonebook, mostly if you are a pretty girl needing to be "rescued".
They have a clunky site, so I will post the entire article in the comments, read, enjoy.
...and I thought I was cool for swimming in the river.
My favorite paper has a more entertaining bit of news. The cover has my hero roommate on the cover. That's pretty cool.
The title of the article is "Aquabatic Rescue", and it has a very silly interior photo of him, "looking hero tough" into the camera. Jonah has saved lives before, but this is the first time it has been in the paper. Oh, and he will accept donations for a destroyed phone (he forgot it was in his pocket when he jumped in) and telephone numbers to rebuild his phonebook, mostly if you are a pretty girl needing to be "rescued".
They have a clunky site, so I will post the entire article in the comments, read, enjoy.
...and I thought I was cool for swimming in the river.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Gosh, I promised brilliance, didn't I?
Nope, sorry. nothing brilliant... I had some fun old journal entries from France and Africa... but they seemed so far away I couldn't post them.
So, here it is. Something trivial. When we went to Russia we were told to bring any brand name thing that we needed. I may have brought a toothbrush and deodorant - what are my brand loyalties?
*deodorant - Degree, the stuff is great and isn't over powering, big fan.
*Toothbrush - Mentadent, full head, hard or medium.
*Soap - Lever 2000... this I am almost willing to change, I just want something non-smell and non "moisturizing".
*Razor - Mach 3. Obviously, though I hate shaving, it's the best.
*Computer - Mac.
those are the absolutes. That's it. The rest are just preferences... Toothpaste - who cares, soda - coke over pepsi, gum - eh, cars - I like good ones I guess (stick is more fun), burgers - Whopper over McDonald's, Fries - Mickey D's over BK, Beer - dark over light, wine - depends on the season (it's getting into red again, weee), Underwear - boxers and boxer briefs over tighty whities (cotton, always), shampoo? hand soap? Paper towels? - whatever, toilet paper - single ply quilted, OJ - whatever's cheapest (but always "not from concentrate"), phone - I've been with sprint? (give me a reason, I'll switch).
That's about it. Did I forget anything? I don't think I fall into marketing much... mostly word of mouth or gifts. Occasionally I am sure I try something for the first time on a subconscious advertising "whim", but I haven't really stuck with any of them.
Last day of Sopranos tomorrow for a while, I hope, so that I can switch photography studios.
Saw Agora tonight. Very nice site specific dance. My roommate had a nice lil' part in it... unfortunately my battery ran out, so you can only see these.
that was only half of the pool... it's a neat place (picture from before)
I will work on that brilliance thing for you...
So, here it is. Something trivial. When we went to Russia we were told to bring any brand name thing that we needed. I may have brought a toothbrush and deodorant - what are my brand loyalties?
*deodorant - Degree, the stuff is great and isn't over powering, big fan.
*Toothbrush - Mentadent, full head, hard or medium.
*Soap - Lever 2000... this I am almost willing to change, I just want something non-smell and non "moisturizing".
*Razor - Mach 3. Obviously, though I hate shaving, it's the best.
*Computer - Mac.
those are the absolutes. That's it. The rest are just preferences... Toothpaste - who cares, soda - coke over pepsi, gum - eh, cars - I like good ones I guess (stick is more fun), burgers - Whopper over McDonald's, Fries - Mickey D's over BK, Beer - dark over light, wine - depends on the season (it's getting into red again, weee), Underwear - boxers and boxer briefs over tighty whities (cotton, always), shampoo? hand soap? Paper towels? - whatever, toilet paper - single ply quilted, OJ - whatever's cheapest (but always "not from concentrate"), phone - I've been with sprint? (give me a reason, I'll switch).
That's about it. Did I forget anything? I don't think I fall into marketing much... mostly word of mouth or gifts. Occasionally I am sure I try something for the first time on a subconscious advertising "whim", but I haven't really stuck with any of them.
Last day of Sopranos tomorrow for a while, I hope, so that I can switch photography studios.
Saw Agora tonight. Very nice site specific dance. My roommate had a nice lil' part in it... unfortunately my battery ran out, so you can only see these.
that was only half of the pool... it's a neat place (picture from before)
I will work on that brilliance thing for you...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Friday, September 16, 2005
Sam Bassett Gallery Opening
sorry it's been a while... that whole work thing sure gets in the way. darn work.
I have to go change a flat tire, then take pictures for a "choose your own adventure Musical", and then rehearse for said musical.
Here, have a few pictures from the weekend.
More will be added over this weekend, check back, weee.
I have to go change a flat tire, then take pictures for a "choose your own adventure Musical", and then rehearse for said musical.
Here, have a few pictures from the weekend.
More will be added over this weekend, check back, weee.
Monday, September 12, 2005
happy
Introduction
Love
Happy for me, by me.
I am a privileged human being. I have had people looking out for my happiness since before I was born. It has been very nice of them to do that. They haven’t directly made me happy, but they have made it easier for me to grasp happiness on my own terms. I don’t believe one person can make another happy. It is an individual state. It can be shared, and it is better (like everything) when shared.
I used to go along with Plato (or was it Aristotle …) when he asked, “would you rather be a happy pig in a kingdom of pigs, or would you rather be an unhappy human in an unhappy world?” I thought – human, of course - I am of the unhappy thinking class while others live their, thoughtless, do what others tell you, eat what others feed you, wear what others place on you, pig lifestyle. Thinking that way may be a little unfair. Just because others don’t think about politics, philosophy, music, art, society, and the greater questions of life (and some people don’t, they really don’t – it isn’t important to them) doesn’t mean that they are happy. Are animals always happy – can we ever know? How about children? I would say that, for the most part, children (before they become cognitive and think hard about others’ feelings) are happy. Why not? It’s fun to be a kid… unless… the dreaded word – I never used it – unless, they are BORED. I never understood boredom, I still don’t. Do bored people have a lack of imagination, free will, or independence? I usually blame boredom on a lack of tree climbing or fort building when children.
Unfortunately, as of late in the US (ok, throughout history), those (happy pigs) people have been used by the powerful to create irrational fear among the masses to propel the powerful’s own agenda. This happens on all sides of an issue. It is very useful. This fear breeds unrest and unhappiness. It is compensated with superiority. If I am scared of this guy sitting next to me I won’t be when I find out that he believes that a quivering thing smaller than a quark connects the whole universe. Idiot. Because he is wrong, I am right, it gives me a false sense of happiness. (We don’t want to actually think that his ideas are valid, or converse with him about it, ohhh noooo, can’t do that) Anyway – I digress. I think that the masses also believe that happiness comes from what other people think – that is why we always try to impress: clothes, cars, and other material things. Happy does not come from material things. The happiest people I know usually have a few goofy attributes, because they aren’t as concerned with fashion – they may have to see it as a means to an end – or find fashion entertaining or artful – because they are performers or love the abstract “things”, but never for the sake of “out doing” other people… it is who they are.
Happy is not situational, there isn’t a “situation” or an ideal that will make someone content with living and life. Look at money. It doesn’t make you happy – the soap operas will tell you that, those people are unhappy, confused, and mean. It isn’t found in intelligence, it isn’t found in religion, it isn’t found in family, it isn’t found in a job, it isn’t found in vacations, it isn’t found in sex, it isn’t found in love. It is not.
…these things can add to happiness – to ease the gathering of happiness… but by themselves they are just positive building blocks in the happy home. We all know people who have these things and are not happy. We probably have had all of these things at one point and not been happy. To continue the house metaphor, we need a door into the house of happy. My door lies in living. I can have all of the above and still be depressed.
Only when I can find the joy in each thing …and it is there – there is joy nearly everywhere… sometimes it is really hard to find, and it isn’t a socially acceptable joy – but it is there. I used the word “nearly” because I am still young. I have not experienced death at close hand, I have no idea what that would do to me. I cannot believe that if everything dies that we are always meant to be in a state of constant mourning. Our society does not embrace death, nor does it celebrate life through death. I wish it did. I think fear of death is just another fear. Not that I want anyone to die – life is all-important… but to live life, one mustn’t fear death. Life is precious.
For me – happiness is living. For me – living is action and doing and creating… yeah – action, like I said at first, being active. Active learning, communicating, seeking, loving, invigorating, feeling, being felt, accepting, appreciating, and being appreciated. Children are happy because they play, playing is fun, and having fun makes one happy. Now I just have to find playful things in my everyday, and I do. My work is fun, my friends are fun, I try to surround myself with beautiful artwork and music, and do things to allow others to be happy more easily.
I am the happiest I have been in years, and I want to thank everyone who gets to enjoy it with me.
Love
Happy for me, by me.
I am a privileged human being. I have had people looking out for my happiness since before I was born. It has been very nice of them to do that. They haven’t directly made me happy, but they have made it easier for me to grasp happiness on my own terms. I don’t believe one person can make another happy. It is an individual state. It can be shared, and it is better (like everything) when shared.
I used to go along with Plato (or was it Aristotle …) when he asked, “would you rather be a happy pig in a kingdom of pigs, or would you rather be an unhappy human in an unhappy world?” I thought – human, of course - I am of the unhappy thinking class while others live their, thoughtless, do what others tell you, eat what others feed you, wear what others place on you, pig lifestyle. Thinking that way may be a little unfair. Just because others don’t think about politics, philosophy, music, art, society, and the greater questions of life (and some people don’t, they really don’t – it isn’t important to them) doesn’t mean that they are happy. Are animals always happy – can we ever know? How about children? I would say that, for the most part, children (before they become cognitive and think hard about others’ feelings) are happy. Why not? It’s fun to be a kid… unless… the dreaded word – I never used it – unless, they are BORED. I never understood boredom, I still don’t. Do bored people have a lack of imagination, free will, or independence? I usually blame boredom on a lack of tree climbing or fort building when children.
Unfortunately, as of late in the US (ok, throughout history), those (happy pigs) people have been used by the powerful to create irrational fear among the masses to propel the powerful’s own agenda. This happens on all sides of an issue. It is very useful. This fear breeds unrest and unhappiness. It is compensated with superiority. If I am scared of this guy sitting next to me I won’t be when I find out that he believes that a quivering thing smaller than a quark connects the whole universe. Idiot. Because he is wrong, I am right, it gives me a false sense of happiness. (We don’t want to actually think that his ideas are valid, or converse with him about it, ohhh noooo, can’t do that) Anyway – I digress. I think that the masses also believe that happiness comes from what other people think – that is why we always try to impress: clothes, cars, and other material things. Happy does not come from material things. The happiest people I know usually have a few goofy attributes, because they aren’t as concerned with fashion – they may have to see it as a means to an end – or find fashion entertaining or artful – because they are performers or love the abstract “things”, but never for the sake of “out doing” other people… it is who they are.
Happy is not situational, there isn’t a “situation” or an ideal that will make someone content with living and life. Look at money. It doesn’t make you happy – the soap operas will tell you that, those people are unhappy, confused, and mean. It isn’t found in intelligence, it isn’t found in religion, it isn’t found in family, it isn’t found in a job, it isn’t found in vacations, it isn’t found in sex, it isn’t found in love. It is not.
…these things can add to happiness – to ease the gathering of happiness… but by themselves they are just positive building blocks in the happy home. We all know people who have these things and are not happy. We probably have had all of these things at one point and not been happy. To continue the house metaphor, we need a door into the house of happy. My door lies in living. I can have all of the above and still be depressed.
Only when I can find the joy in each thing …and it is there – there is joy nearly everywhere… sometimes it is really hard to find, and it isn’t a socially acceptable joy – but it is there. I used the word “nearly” because I am still young. I have not experienced death at close hand, I have no idea what that would do to me. I cannot believe that if everything dies that we are always meant to be in a state of constant mourning. Our society does not embrace death, nor does it celebrate life through death. I wish it did. I think fear of death is just another fear. Not that I want anyone to die – life is all-important… but to live life, one mustn’t fear death. Life is precious.
For me – happiness is living. For me – living is action and doing and creating… yeah – action, like I said at first, being active. Active learning, communicating, seeking, loving, invigorating, feeling, being felt, accepting, appreciating, and being appreciated. Children are happy because they play, playing is fun, and having fun makes one happy. Now I just have to find playful things in my everyday, and I do. My work is fun, my friends are fun, I try to surround myself with beautiful artwork and music, and do things to allow others to be happy more easily.
I am the happiest I have been in years, and I want to thank everyone who gets to enjoy it with me.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Late postcards from the rails
Here are a few photos from my trip. Wished you were there!
I started in Minnesota
The view for the flatlands.
Went to Portland
It was pretty, a lot.
Our train car was always at the end. We were the coolest.
Then Oakland
We went to some Vineyards in Napa Valley. There was wine... and pre-wine.
We went to a lot of museums... some better than others.
I went to L.A. and saw some friends
Traveled back to Chicago
Saw some more friends in Chicago
And took some back to Kansas City.
Had fun.
The end.
The view for the flatlands.
Went to Portland
It was pretty, a lot.
Our train car was always at the end. We were the coolest.
Then Oakland
We went to some Vineyards in Napa Valley. There was wine... and pre-wine.
We went to a lot of museums... some better than others.
I went to L.A. and saw some friends
Traveled back to Chicago
Saw some more friends in Chicago
And took some back to Kansas City.
Had fun.
The end.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
The 9 phases of love.
Read the introduction.
A theory that works for me, by me.
For this episode I ask that you use the word love in the romantic sense – verses familiar love or friendship or loyalty or all of the other types.
I figure I have been in 9 different stages/phases/states of love. The first stage is *unknowing… this lasts until another stage – *Returned Love. Only when your love is returned or reciprocated do you really know what love is. Some spend their entire life not knowing what love is. I remember at 12 practicing the line, “I haven’t been in love before, but I think this is it.” I never used the line and it took another 4 years before I had any sort of concept of love.
Once you think you know love then you can see my other stages. When you *love another (with or without that person’s knowledge) or when you are *loved yourself (with or without knowing that you are the object of affection).
Then, there are certain states of lovelessness. The first state is illustrated by having a *void - the feeling of nothing – not wanting to love and having no one to love. Another state is that of the *status quo, keeping what is there (maybe a romantic love that has turned into friendship) and not needing to change it.
You can be *losing love and feel good feelings slipping away. You can be *searching – for anyone, someone, all by yourself – with no one in mind. You can also have someone in mind, who has you in mind… but it hasn’t reached a point where you can say, “I love you”. We call it *falling for good reason. That is my favorite stage, but unfortunately it is usually preceded by searching – which is very hard, or it can cause the ruin of another relationship.
Love States –
Unaware of
In
Wants
Is Wanted
Out
Continuing the Status Quo
Falling out
Searching
Falling in
And you can easily be in multiple states simultaneously – such as falling in and out and being admired - all at the same time.
Those are the ones I have experienced, I know there are many more of which I have no concept. Marriage, children, and multiple consensual partners are factors, again, that I could not speak to. I have felt nearly all of these in the past year, but the theories come from my whole life and listening to others. The year has been good, hard, and painful… life – in all of it’s glory; fast and slow, good and bad. This little entry is not specific to anyone; it is just a compilation of thoughts brought on by a few books I am currently reading. The only specific part is that this is what I think and feel, and I have been on all sides of the yearning, requesting, and rejecting. Those of you who know me know that I don’t share these thoughts easily or often. I am currently in the state of searching in nearly every facet of my life. It may be a quarter life crisis… but I would rather have it now than continue to flounder for the next 25 years.
These states have so much to do with timing. It is the hardest when the poor timing includes a different belief system or set of morals. What one person thinks is fun, and exciting may be bad and terrifying for another. Though, obviously, there is still a part in both people that enjoys the love, or lust (a whole separate conversation), relationship a great deal… if certain rules are not being followed, there can be a great deal of guilt and confusion. Those relationships cannot work without a drastic changes by at least one of the parties… usually the person that says some version of no.
There is always room for love. No one has ever been too busy or too far away to be loved. However, to know you are being loved and don’t think you would be able to return it, it is often enough to reject any possibilities. It is always much safer to stay in the current state because it is known. The unknown is scary. Then again, nothing extraordinary happens in the known. Without change there is no movement, without movement there is no excitement, without excitement… well, what’s the point? Safety? OK, I buy that. Safety. Good for you. It bores me. How else would I be writing this from a train in the mountains, by saying no?
I like the idea of a “yes, and” lifestyle. The stories are always better. No leads to less, which leads to boredom, which leads to wasted time. And time is the one thing you can never buy back, no matter what you have.
The real questions are – are they all love? Can you be an inactive / unknowing lover? Is love only good when it is returned? Can joy be found in all states as long as one person is happy within another state? And… Can you be happy without love?
I can see the last question getting people upset – yes, of course… I can be productive, I can make a difference in the world, have friends and family that care and love me, I go out all of the time, I am constantly learning, teaching, whatever…
I guess we would have to open the whole “what is happiness” box which is very quickly followed by, “what is the meaning of life” quandary. It probably depends on individual priorities, however it is not en vogue to allow people to have their own belief systems when something has “worked well” for another. There are many classes, groups, religious sects, political parties, and individuals that are trying to enforce a lifestyle that has worked for them. I don’t like to be forced into anything, and I won’t force my beliefs down anyone’s throat. I may on occasion tell you what I am thinking, really – just to see if anyone is in the same boat out there, so that we can all search and learn together. No one knows the answers for everyone, but if they know the answers for themselves they may be able to help others find their own path.
Yeah, this is what happens when you ride a train, I guess… no wonder the books were so good in the time of ships traveling around the world. Life goes just slow enough to get what you need done, and fast enough where I couldn’t move this fast by myself.
Thanks for listening.
A theory that works for me, by me.
For this episode I ask that you use the word love in the romantic sense – verses familiar love or friendship or loyalty or all of the other types.
I figure I have been in 9 different stages/phases/states of love. The first stage is *unknowing… this lasts until another stage – *Returned Love. Only when your love is returned or reciprocated do you really know what love is. Some spend their entire life not knowing what love is. I remember at 12 practicing the line, “I haven’t been in love before, but I think this is it.” I never used the line and it took another 4 years before I had any sort of concept of love.
Once you think you know love then you can see my other stages. When you *love another (with or without that person’s knowledge) or when you are *loved yourself (with or without knowing that you are the object of affection).
Then, there are certain states of lovelessness. The first state is illustrated by having a *void - the feeling of nothing – not wanting to love and having no one to love. Another state is that of the *status quo, keeping what is there (maybe a romantic love that has turned into friendship) and not needing to change it.
You can be *losing love and feel good feelings slipping away. You can be *searching – for anyone, someone, all by yourself – with no one in mind. You can also have someone in mind, who has you in mind… but it hasn’t reached a point where you can say, “I love you”. We call it *falling for good reason. That is my favorite stage, but unfortunately it is usually preceded by searching – which is very hard, or it can cause the ruin of another relationship.
Love States –
Unaware of
In
Wants
Is Wanted
Out
Continuing the Status Quo
Falling out
Searching
Falling in
And you can easily be in multiple states simultaneously – such as falling in and out and being admired - all at the same time.
Those are the ones I have experienced, I know there are many more of which I have no concept. Marriage, children, and multiple consensual partners are factors, again, that I could not speak to. I have felt nearly all of these in the past year, but the theories come from my whole life and listening to others. The year has been good, hard, and painful… life – in all of it’s glory; fast and slow, good and bad. This little entry is not specific to anyone; it is just a compilation of thoughts brought on by a few books I am currently reading. The only specific part is that this is what I think and feel, and I have been on all sides of the yearning, requesting, and rejecting. Those of you who know me know that I don’t share these thoughts easily or often. I am currently in the state of searching in nearly every facet of my life. It may be a quarter life crisis… but I would rather have it now than continue to flounder for the next 25 years.
These states have so much to do with timing. It is the hardest when the poor timing includes a different belief system or set of morals. What one person thinks is fun, and exciting may be bad and terrifying for another. Though, obviously, there is still a part in both people that enjoys the love, or lust (a whole separate conversation), relationship a great deal… if certain rules are not being followed, there can be a great deal of guilt and confusion. Those relationships cannot work without a drastic changes by at least one of the parties… usually the person that says some version of no.
There is always room for love. No one has ever been too busy or too far away to be loved. However, to know you are being loved and don’t think you would be able to return it, it is often enough to reject any possibilities. It is always much safer to stay in the current state because it is known. The unknown is scary. Then again, nothing extraordinary happens in the known. Without change there is no movement, without movement there is no excitement, without excitement… well, what’s the point? Safety? OK, I buy that. Safety. Good for you. It bores me. How else would I be writing this from a train in the mountains, by saying no?
I like the idea of a “yes, and” lifestyle. The stories are always better. No leads to less, which leads to boredom, which leads to wasted time. And time is the one thing you can never buy back, no matter what you have.
The real questions are – are they all love? Can you be an inactive / unknowing lover? Is love only good when it is returned? Can joy be found in all states as long as one person is happy within another state? And… Can you be happy without love?
I can see the last question getting people upset – yes, of course… I can be productive, I can make a difference in the world, have friends and family that care and love me, I go out all of the time, I am constantly learning, teaching, whatever…
I guess we would have to open the whole “what is happiness” box which is very quickly followed by, “what is the meaning of life” quandary. It probably depends on individual priorities, however it is not en vogue to allow people to have their own belief systems when something has “worked well” for another. There are many classes, groups, religious sects, political parties, and individuals that are trying to enforce a lifestyle that has worked for them. I don’t like to be forced into anything, and I won’t force my beliefs down anyone’s throat. I may on occasion tell you what I am thinking, really – just to see if anyone is in the same boat out there, so that we can all search and learn together. No one knows the answers for everyone, but if they know the answers for themselves they may be able to help others find their own path.
Yeah, this is what happens when you ride a train, I guess… no wonder the books were so good in the time of ships traveling around the world. Life goes just slow enough to get what you need done, and fast enough where I couldn’t move this fast by myself.
Thanks for listening.
what... actual reporting?
Scott McCellan gets eaten alive.
read the highlights here. (really fun... if you like that scene in "hero" where the guy deflects thousands of arrows and is never hit by one... yet)
read the full briefing here. (plus a video, wee)
really, it is very entertaining, good work reporters.
read the highlights here. (really fun... if you like that scene in "hero" where the guy deflects thousands of arrows and is never hit by one... yet)
read the full briefing here. (plus a video, wee)
really, it is very entertaining, good work reporters.
Introduction
I have decided to change the tone of this blog every now and then. I am going to start adding what I actually think. Until now, with rare exception, I have been, “commenting” on things – news, events, my purdy pictures… but, occasionally from now on I am going to toss in a long wordy entries – read it, don’t, comment, don’t – whatever – it is my way of making sure I am not the only one out there who thinks this way. I know I’m not, I get to have these sorts of conversations with some of my friends – and now I open the conversation to you – unknown I Copy That reader.
They will, hopefully, be short theories or statements taken from my life and my influences. I’ll try not to overreach, and speak beyond my own experiences and observations. Please feel free to call my bullshit.
I am going to try not to excessively quote people because they are not my words and my favorite quotes are often entirely engulfed by the full text – making the quote seem trite out of context.
These aren’t college papers – so they won’t read like one. I am still searching for my writing style… something that is conversational and expressive. Something that sounds like the voice in my head. (the good voice)
I’ll probably keep it to generalizations of ideas and ideals at first… but eventually I’ll get into the juicy disputable stuff… the only problem with the contestable things – is that I might change my mind on those… I am prone to do that… I promise nothing other than an attempt at an honest representation of what I am thinking and feeling right now.
Oh, and I will still make pithy comments and tell a short story or two.
They will, hopefully, be short theories or statements taken from my life and my influences. I’ll try not to overreach, and speak beyond my own experiences and observations. Please feel free to call my bullshit.
I am going to try not to excessively quote people because they are not my words and my favorite quotes are often entirely engulfed by the full text – making the quote seem trite out of context.
These aren’t college papers – so they won’t read like one. I am still searching for my writing style… something that is conversational and expressive. Something that sounds like the voice in my head. (the good voice)
I’ll probably keep it to generalizations of ideas and ideals at first… but eventually I’ll get into the juicy disputable stuff… the only problem with the contestable things – is that I might change my mind on those… I am prone to do that… I promise nothing other than an attempt at an honest representation of what I am thinking and feeling right now.
Oh, and I will still make pithy comments and tell a short story or two.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
whew.
I'm back.
Things I have realized in the past few hours.
1) people who don't discipline their children have spoiled children, mostly.
b) said children are loud and bang on the back of people's chairs on the airplane
III) I don't mind waiting anymore... sitting on a train for two weeks really takes away that "need to be somewhere"
four) I don't need TV, but boy - the internet still is fun.
Things I have realized in the past few hours.
1) people who don't discipline their children have spoiled children, mostly.
b) said children are loud and bang on the back of people's chairs on the airplane
III) I don't mind waiting anymore... sitting on a train for two weeks really takes away that "need to be somewhere"
four) I don't need TV, but boy - the internet still is fun.
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