come live with me.
you can tell me to blog more, I'll listen.
$850 Bedroom in Exceptional Apartment
Private room with a good closet, large window, and hardwood floors.
Located in a 3 bedroom, 2 full baths Apt.
Apartment includes:
* Inviting foyer and sitting room
* Spacious, bright, clean, kitchen
* Enormous, sunny, luxurious, living room; complete with 36-inch flat panel HD TV, DVD, Digital Cable, surround sound, couches, plants and artwork.
* Wireless Cable Internet
* Quiet back porch
* Two young, artistic, professional, quirky, friendly, clean roommates, (One Male and One Female)
* Air-conditioning
-Optional Bed and frame, dresser
Surrounding Area:
* Up-and-coming Greenpoint, Brooklyn
* Easy access to the G train at Nassau
* Pleasant walk to the L train at the Bedford stop
* Walking distance to a Supermarket and Laundromat
* Many unique stores and restaurants
* Wide selection of deliverable cuisines
* Blocks from multiple parks
* Extremely convenient parking
* Neighborhood feeling
Pictures - http://flickr.com/photos/icopythat/sets/46215/ (I'll put some newer shots up tomorrow, but this gives the feeling)
At least 6 month stay. Available January 1st.
$850
Please respond with a brief self-description, be creative and honest.
"I copy that" is walkie-talkie talk for - I understand, will do, gotcha, ok, alright, yup, uh-huh, and much more depending on the inflection of the voice.
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3 comments:
Sorry if this is inappropriate, but I couldn't help pointing out the coincidence.
I posted this in the Penny blog linked from the previous reader's comment, but I thought I should share with you, here, too!
I could certainly use a change. And I actually love Greenpoint.
So here's my story...
I'm currently in a bad position because of the most repulsive, vile roommate one could ever have (well, I am sure there could always be worse). But here are some basic examples that only barely touch the tip of repulsiveness:
My bedroom has "French Doors" for which I have to pull down blinds and then pull curtains over them. One day, RepulseMan says, "you know, you really can't see into your room at night when your doors are closed!" I say, "What?" He says, "yeah, I was restless the past couple of nights and decided to come stand at your door and try to see in so I could see you naked. And I couldn't see a thing!" That evening PACKAGE TAPED the blinds permanently over the panes of the windows on the French Doors.
He saw a used toothbrush in the hallway of our building that had apparently fallen out of someone's trash on the way to the bin. He says, "Ohhh, this is still good!" He now uses that toothbrush.
HOWEVER
He buys NO toiletries. And NO toothpaste. He says he "doesn't have to shower that often because I swim once or twice a week at the public pool."
He dries off on MY towel.
He used MY toothbrush (don't worry, I have a new one and it remains hidden)
He used MY bar of soap, even though he doesn't buy any toiletries normally. When confronted, he said, "You are so uptight." I do not consider it to be "uptight" to want a bar of soap that caresses my body to be free of dark, curly hairs that are not my own. And considering I do not leave hair on my soap, this is repulsive to me. AND considering HE is bald, this is doubly-repulsive!
He opens packages of foods and throws the packaging on the floor of the apartment.
He drinks directly from his chocolate milk cartons and then offers that same milk to guests.
He is a super-victim of all world events (he claims that 9-11 chemically damaged his ability to think, even though he only saw it on TV, and lables it "post-traumatic stress disorder"), and this position grants him justification for all horrors of his behavior.
He is 53 years old and lives off of his parents.
He is 53 years old and craves teenage boys, commenting in extremely uncomfortable phrases about what he would like to do to them.
He keeps big bottles of stinky massage oils (read: LUBE) on his headboard for his bed and when he opens his door to his bedroom, the apartment reeks of the smell. After which, he brings out a bunch of bananas and offers one to me, which I would never take, especially as I notice there are a couple with LUBE on them!
He enjoys for his dog to lick him all over his body, and he proclaims this openly, to the extent of having his conversation with me interrupted by his forcing his dog to sit at his feet and lick in the crevices between his toes while he closes his eyes and tries to focus on the conversation. Before he opens his eyes, I am in the bathroom vomiting. This is akin to child molestation, in my eyes. SO GROSS!
I could go on, but I don't even know if this will make it to your blog comments; it is so sickening.
In the end, I would choose to live nowhere else in the world (beyond New York City, that is).
How did your roommate hunt go?
Troy aka CocteauBoy
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